Remember when I said, you are the world to your kids when they are between the ages of 7 – 12, oh get ready to hear, you don’t know anything and everyone else is right!
Now I started off saying being single, divorce or widowed can really test your emotions… well if I am honest, a teenager is 10x worse! Of course, not all… Ok that is me trying to sugar coat it, cause pretty much every parent will say give me the terrible 2’s back if you went through that phase. 😀
I think this phase is harder for the newly divorce or widowed parent. This phase of your child is all about emotions and it is difficult to know when they are having a good day or a bad day and/or a good and bad day! So, I can only imagine it gets even more confusing when a parent falls away that they have seen all their lives.
I’m not an expert here, but I have had friends who have been divorced or widowed and it is devastating to the family and everyone seem to be crippled by taking the next step.
Now this is not to say it is easier for children who have been raised by a single parent all their lives. I now am face with a son who is trying to be a man, but just finds it difficult to express himself to me. He tells me, ‘Mom you can do 80% of the work, but can never give me that 20% to become a full man.” It is hurtful and it does bruise my ego as a mom and yes, we argue as I am sure most parent with teenager do.
The main point is, they are soon going into the big world, full of hope and dreams as young adults. No longer can we guide them, no longer do they look up to us as their heroes and they know everything and like Will Smith once sang the song, “Parents just don’t understand!”
I can try and let you believe I know the financial secret when you have a teenager in the house… but I won’t! But what I will say is, as a single parent it is hard to be 2 parents in one, especially if you are raising the opposite gender. The only thing I have learnt is that not everything I do is going to be right and I feel like the maid at time… But to know I have help to shape another person’s life for the past 17 years is an honour.
My only regret was putting work at times in front of my son. As a single parent, you are mostly in survival mode, especially when you are young and it becomes a way of life, even when there is enough.
Action you can take:
Listen, Listen and Listen even more to your teen. We might not always agree with them and the way they behave, but at the end of the day time listening will be worth more to them than a name brand item.
TIP #5: For teens, it is never about the money!