You may feel that he might have picked it up from some bad boys in his nursery or school. Bad behaviours are usually caused by frustration. Your child may not feel being understood by others. This normally happens before they develop speaking skills. It could also be due to the fact that he is not a talkative person and doesn’t know how to express his thoughts and feelings.
You might feel embarrassed by his behaviour, especially if he does that in a public place where lots of other people are watching you. You may then feel reluctant to take him out and choose to stay at home instead.
There are techniques that you can do to improve your child’s behaviour immediately.
- You can manage your own emotions first. Instead of reacting to the situation, stay cool and calm. Keep breathing out quietly and slowly. Stand up tall and tell yourself that you can manage this situation. Change to a deeper voice to speak to him and speak slower and quieter than usual.
- Talk to your child firmly and politely about what you would like him to do, with a simple instruction that he can understand and then start doing it yourself. For instance, “I would like you to get into the car now, we can discuss this at home. (You are now walking toward the car) I just want to understand the reasons why you want this before we get it.” This gives him hope that you are not saying no. This gives him a chance to explain to you why he wants what he wants. This gives you an opportunity to find out whether there are other ways to meet his needs. There will always be other ways to meet someone’s needs.
- Use positive language and tell him what you want to see, rather than what you don’t want to see. Children react better to positive instructions. For example, instead of telling him, “stop shouting at me”, tell him that you love it when he speaks kindly and gently to you. It makes you feel pleased and happy.
- Children should learn about the rewards and consequences of their behaviour. When he has done something that you really like, make sure that you express your approval and thank him for his behaviour immediately. Give him a lot of kisses and cuddles. If children are older, the reward might be a new pair of trainers etc. Make sure that you are keeping to your word when he has done what you asked of him. When he doesn’t behave, you can deprive him of what he wants, such as TV, internet time, play time with his friends etc.
Apply these simple tips and you are going to see some changes in your child’s behaviour.
For more information, please contact me at www.younglilies.com
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