One of the topics that typically comes up when I deal with women who have gone through a divorce is the ability to trust again. One of the deepest casualty of a divorce is not that you can’t trust another human being, but more importantly you can’t trust yourself.
Many women struggle with self-blame and this stems from not trusting themselves. No matter what happened for a marriage to conclude, there are many factors that play a part in healing from it.
Learning to trust yourself to make decisions is the first part of learning to trust others. I have outlined 5 steps that will help you find your mojo again. Implement these techniques on yourself as well as when you are entering into another relationship.
- Boundaries: set realistic boundaries for yourself and others around you. Be open to discussing this and addressing your limits openly.
- Be Kind to yourself: only say things to yourself that you would say to others. All too often women tend to belittle themselves, thus giving others the green light to do the same.
- Have fun: life challenges are naturally difficult, but find the bless in the mess. Laugh and have fun. It releases endorphins that will elevate your mood.
- Own your mistakes: no need to beat yourself up when something goes amiss. Acknowledge the mistake and learn from it.
- Act with integrity: do what’s right based on your values. Keeping this in mind, you will always be able to sleep knowing that you are on the right track.
Creating trust within a new relationship post-divorce is a process. It’s not something that’s deep and abiding the moment you meet someone — no matter how much connection you may initially feel. Take the time to explore your fears and be open about your concerns, but the idea of creating a life with someone new creates endless possibilities of enjoying a fulfilling life. Take your time in this journey of discovery and what you will find is that happiness will join you along the way.
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